THE NOISE CONTINUED - PART 3 ========================= TARGET MARKETING ========================= Har Har Har Hey Luke! Duke says you ain't no real man cause you don't read none of them Science Digest Magazines Says so right here in this magazine's ad. Gotcha, Suds, I'll get me some of them Science Digest magazines at the newsstand nearest me today. And then, watchout, ladies. Har Har Har ========================== OH THE EXCITEMENT ========================== Unwrap the seal and insert the cassette in the video and turn the video on now and ... Told Visions University of the Air and the DINKYWINK SOCIETY present An Elmer Tudbody Production Ltd. Premier Presentation in conjunction with Vista Proportions Inc., of the Vista Contortions group of companies, The Life and Times of author Elmer Tudbody A History and Retrospect The Genius and the Author Part 1 The Breakthrough Period Oct 79, to Sept 80. It's Consequences And Retrospect It's Impact On The Past Present and Future of Mankind's Times It's Signficances To The Leanings of Current Affairs Thought That's on Vista Proportions 8 P.M. this coming Wednesday First person... nuts life's lousy nothin's good on the video an the beers stale. Yesterday had ta throw out the case of wine cause it was discovered to have not two but three poisons in it Second person... An today driving home from work hit the back of a police car couldn't see the acid fog was making my eyes sting First person... An now this video tape this Elmer Tudbody thing the store guaranteed it was supposed to be a hot new sex movie musta made a mistake at the pirate factory. The jokers grunt and shift position like rotators success on the stock market changed their lives and now they live like potatoes ======================= SPIFFY DOGFARTS ======================= For a real treat delight try nu-eggs two-a-day plus only at La Bistro your favorite eatery of fine food cuisine and finest french ambiancy today Oh oh that sounded too gross lets start writing that again introducing Nu-psuedofad plus the amazing breakthrough that makes other concepts obsolete All day Earnest Need Achiever is achieving needs through the afternoon evening next day writing rewriting so many trials and errors between the instant and the act the buzzword and the fact the last acting fast of the hook searching intricacies between the nooks and fuzzwords the hooks and buzzwords the impact and the acting seeking that fast instant final sudden connection between the buzzword hook and the last passing mast of advertising Whoah! Yeah! This person's career and future depends on it this person thinks just look at the number of words ending in 'ast' that didn't get it TRY NUMBER 1... 'Yummy So-goods' improved treat for your tummy don't miss your share today run and ask your mummy god doesn't even know how we get the center runny TRY NUMBER 2... 'Yummy So-goods' approved nutra sweet and very gummy don't miss your share today so go n' ask your mom for money. And so on. " ... cuz 'Carnal Goodness' has the carnal goodness that carnal goodness lovers love so buy the better toilet water and fragrance with new improved 'Carnal Goodness' at your favorite store, TODAY!" and the PRICE so LOW you'd think it wasn't even MADE in Paris ' ... cuz, friends, (slow motion sincerity) life's too short to walk the line', a phrase which has significant relevant useability, body english, and personality but no real content ... hmmm "These are the kinds of buzzlines and spacehangers we want for sucker punching the idiots in OUR campaigns and its my job to think of them ... " Yep Earnest Need Achiever is having a real good day planning a career and spending all his time thinking about it (On T.V. has been an advertising pitch which goes in part ... 'Toots and Dollmarks casual separates which you can mix and choose with fashionable casual ease for your career or stylish pleasure ... ' An ad for a small common boutique in other words). Up and find where it belongs in a real-time test it makes it better which proves its best all other products are part of the rest Another video production by: At The Crack Of Dawn Specials you got it you got it good special is the right word for it cracks one of the girls in suntan studio having an idea while the oil drys sounding like Dish from a Nick and Trish T.V. commercial starring stars who do it cause the pays good along with the exposure. 'Encore' IS the best of all coffee tastes because Encore is the only blend made with real chicory which makes it bitter ... er ... better ... er ... "Take 3! and this time get it right!" "Wonder Bar! that great taste treat with new real see-through chocolatey layer guaranteed so thin you can see what's inside!" oh nuts my layer just fell off stepped on it made stain on my office carpet serves me right for sampling my own chocolate while watching the rushes (the T.V. monitor plays on) "And try our OTHER new confectionery delight! 'Goodfinger' genuine imitation chocolate with genuine chocolatey coating surrounds a low calorie sugar crystal mixture scientifically formulated with right hand molecules in a delicious caramel-like sandwich so good you can even hear it as you chew And! special for the kids 'Goodfinger' goes snap! crackle! and pop! as you open the wrapper" Eager Need Achiever is real proud of working with the best of the team on THIS ad specially the part about the wrapper (even got to vote yes on who to use for the voices of the three crispies) that last line the third one said was a particularly good coup on competition. Eager Need Achiever slips a video copy of the ads into a portfolio and adds a copy of the election campaign to the resume. But ... how can this happen ... can't fit the packages into the briefcase. (On real time T.V. other ads come on between the seconds of the movie) Cowards Dog Food guaranteed made better with genuine real beef body parts ... Lots of talk but no show lots of boasts but so slow Subliminally I think that what I see are their tails wagging Tell me is it the sun I'm looking at no it can't be it isn't fun its an idea in someone else's thought balloon. one step two step everybody step step everybody step step three step everybody one step two step everybody step step everybody step step three step everybody a funny thing about a police state mentality is the only ones who like them are those who have them. ============== BAD ADDS ============== (High pitched male voice rather irritating) 'The Financial Post' is MY first read of the day That's why I get all of the financial news FIRST before anyone else does' we learn from this the Financial Post has only one subscriber ===================== REAL BAD ADS ===================== (Radio add - oil company announcing a furnace update - a new fantastic breakthrough which you can even lease ! We hear a gooey wife talking like a puff of joke to her smirking husband ... ) ... You know, Jack, our oil company can keep us warm a year around, and it only takes a fraction of the cost ... (Peace of mind is being shattered in the condo compound, a family, upset by opinion argues the points of view, the voices carry far in the night).... okay now you've heard the stale old ad hour after hour day after day week after week by now you know exactly what it means so please tell me what does it mean does it mean anything at all is this ad supposed to do anything more than get you to hook to the phone calling the furnace oil dealer in haste nearest you today or is the ad really what it seems to be a really bad ad ===================================== SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES ===================================== BLINK BLINK TWICE STRAIGHT OFF THE AIRWAVES 'It's the 177 horse of COMANCHE that gives it so MUCH power but its the name JEEP that gives it so much PULL' HEY IS THIS VALID THAT A SAYING LIKE HORSE CAN GIVE SOMETHING POWER OR THAT JEEP CAN GIVE A NAME A PULL OR EVEN IS IT ANYTHING AT ALL IN A REALITY SPANNING GALAXIES IN WHICH ANY THOUGHTS PASSED IN ANY MANNER PASS CORRECT AND WITHOUT QUESTION ------------ YIPE ------------ (Female's voice - sing songy - gooey coo - sounds like practice for a part in a Cablevision X rated movie) Just a minute DEAR! Wait till I turn it ON! There that's better. (to a famous melody) Oh you don't have a whole lot of mo-ney but yah wanna taste something real sun-ny the answer of course is Liptons noddles with Full Course side by side... (anonymous important voice) Yes Liptons Full Course IS brand new - a whole new concept in delicious nutritious food guaranteed straight from the farm. Tangy genuine processed cheese slices on a bed of exotically spiced rice with only 100 percent dairy fresh margarine added makes Full Course the meal-in-a-minute that just can't be beat at ANY price for TASTE GOODNESS ALL AROUND NUTRITION (different morsels are marching around to hard music) So hurry to your favorite store nearest you TODAY! (Male's voice - sing songy too - sounds like the creep is eagerly anticipating later) Oooooooooh ! This IS significant (Now the candle lit table. Hands are working magic over a bowl of something that sits in elegance steaming) (Her hands weave like a dope making wavy over the savory) Mmm Hmmm (His hands weave like a pope making blessing over the gravy) New Liptons Full Course is something I DON'T want to miss right to the last morsel popped into the mouth for real pop-in-the-mouth flavor that's hard to beat! An' THAT'S honest! (Gooey coo - the harlet or starlet or whoever she is is talking again) Microwavable also available in breakthrough new peekthrough dehydrated miracle wrapped fast-paks for total convenience experience! AND microwavable TOO! See, don't say I don't love you MMmmmmm (a soggy dripping pak is pulled from a pot of boiling water) (Male going gooey coo too now) MMmmm real good (volume UP as the last bars end) Side by SIDE... SEXUAL REWARDS INNUENDOED FOR ANY IS A WORSE MISTAKE THE FIRST OF MANY LET'S PUT IT ANOTHER WAY THE ABSURDITY OF A LANGUAGE CAN NEVER BE FULLY EQUAL TO THE ABSURDITY OF THE THOUGHTS THAT CAUSE THE LANGUAGE TO MALPRACTICE SO BADLY IN THE FIRST PLACE TO WHERE THERE ARE NO ANSWERS TO BECOME DEFINABLY OBVIOUS AND MALPRACTICE CAN SPIRE, CONTINUING TO EXPAND WHEN 'IN' PRETENDING TO BE SOMETHING THAT WILL BE HAPPENING RIGHT FOR ANYONE WHO LISTENS. WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT MERE LIES THIS TIME WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A COSMIC SECRET THE SECRET IS TO GET RID OF THE THOUGHTS IN THE FIRST PLACE MEANWHILE THE PROBLEM OF DOUBLE BLINK GOES ON (from an add for a home cooking school's special introductory lessons all for the price of only ... etc.) typical family situation - mom - talking frankly to the kids - a fiesty little blond smiler of a daughter and red head younger token of a brother who both know how to climb on a stool) 'Just be thankful your mommy can cook 'Yummy' otherwise you'd have nothing to eat but beans for your tummy' (since commercial concepts seem to get passed around like tips on the stock market another company has grabbed the tail and run with the whale as follows): (while waiting for the rest of a sentence about saving the ozone to end after a commercial break - we hear - singing and busy brisk music telling us like it is) Singing Busy brisk music YUMMY busy busy busy busy busy FOR YOUR TUMMY busy busy busy busy busy MAKES YOUR TUMMY busy busy busy busy busy FEELING GREAT! busy busy busy end! Its an ad for a stomach remedy, apparently since during this we see a medicine bottle approaching the screen with a big grin for a label WHO THINKS UP AND PRODUCES THIS KIND OF AWFUL STUFF! CERTAINLY NOT THE SUPREME CREATORS. AND DEFINATELY NOT THE KIND OF POSITIVE INTELLIGENCE WHICH CAN CHANGE THE ALIGNMENT OF GALAXIES NO WAY. THIS KIND OF STUFF IS THOUGHT UP BY LESSER INTELLIGENCES WHO'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT ALIGNMENT OF A GALAXY MEANS AND DON'T SEEM TO CARE WHAT THEY'RE MISSING SO LONG AS THERE'S A BUCK OR TWO IN THE PRODUCTION OF BOTTLES AND SILLY BRISK MUSIC TELLIN' IT LIKE IT IS FOR WHOEVER IS STUPID ENOUGH TO PAY FOR PRODUCT (off camera - young announcer with important sounding voice sits on stool in front of goose neck mike with finger stuck in ear - speaks) ..... 'THE ASSHOLES and the GORY' ... (off camera more self important voice stands beside cue cards with mike in hand, earphones hurry the hairy brain) ..... NO! NO! YOU IDIOT! that's 'THE BOLD AND THE GLORY'! let's do it AGAIN! and this time READ THE CARDS! GET IT RIGHT! (off camera important sounding young announcer once again) ..... and NOW for 'THE BOLD AND THE GLORY' our LATE NIGHT MOVIE SPECIAL starring ..... (off camera that power tripping important voice again) ..... OKAY not bad for the audition that's better let's finish the asshole ad and get on with the Saturday Evening Special ready CUE PERSON! C'MON! GET IN PLACE HERE AND HOLD UP THE CARDS! EGGS as we all know are a wonderful source of wrong kinds of cholesterol that's why the Egg Marketing Board of the county nearest you today runs ads 24 hours a day again and again an assault even back to back just seconds apart showing how good eggs taste at breakfast, lunch, dinner, in between snacks skits making the voo doo seem important making the message plain get cracking the more eggs you eat the better it is for the people who grow and sell EGGS (Unseen station announcer with important voice) And now back to our great saturday night AT THE MOVIES blockbuster special of the week but first the following important announcement) YES ITS SOGOOD ! (male thing with ridiculous grin says this ITCH is driving me C R A Z Y ... (unseen voice speaks plus some visuals) .... Friends ! Are YOU one of the millions of painful hemmorhoidal sufferers trying to live and work despite it today? If you are try new PILES POP PLUS for instant INstant INSTANT relief ! (subliminal hiss says .... like a candyyyy ....) New PILES POP PLUS helps sooooth irritated membrain and shrinks painful hemorrhoids to help restore normal function fast Plus for stubborn cases try new PILES POP POP PLUS EXTRA (a male model states a meaningless testimonial with ridiculous grin on face, returns to jogging) And now look at this PILES POP PLUS comes in TWO tubes that's right you get not one but TWO tubes with every purchase so you can apply both at once for better comfort relief FAST (subliminal hiss says .... like a candyyyy ....) And LOOK ! for the second tube you get ALSO this special hygienic form fitting applicator FREE for using our special stain free ointment that's clinically designed to help prevent painful acid burns Safe for adults of all ages when used as recommended If symptoms persist consult a physician Surgeon General's warning: Not recommended for children under the age of 12 (subliminal hiss says .... like a candyyyy ....) New PILES POP PLUS IS the best friend your PILES ever had ! (station announcer with lisping rasp in voice) And NOW ! back to RUN OH M'GOD RUN our SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE MOVIES blockbuster academy feature of the week starring Cindy Sand and Peter Feeble in a GRIPPING drama of international INTRIGUE as a man becomes the QUARRY hunted for DARING to say in a book just published that the idea of an infinite supply of virgins for eternity for every moslem male in paradise may be a lie .... but first this message: ---> problem is all this time the movie has been running and the formula has progressed to 4 minutes movie 7 minutes commercials 1 minute in station breaks in another great entertainment package of the week the stations have a meter on the line how many are tuned in how many sets are drawing juice from the cable per channel ergo, how much stuff can we dope with commercials without loosing the viewer yawning in indifference a technician consults the meter reader table sees that juice suck has eased up another two iotas and knows the sponsors pay more for getting the message straight to a captive audience the technician scratching an itchy clatch dead center in the lower bluejean rear region leans forward pushes a button preprogrammed to stream online another six commercials in the next half hour-slot oops the juice suck meter has just eased up another notch oh but indeed yes this is no problem for the station the technician simply reaching forward resets the buttons according to formula one more time DO ANY OF YOU WITH IRRITATING ITCHY CONDITIONS AT ZERO POINT CENTRAL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CRACK KNOW THE ITCH IS NOT CAUSED BY VIRUS BUT GRAVE IMBALANCES IN THE FREQUENCIES OF CONSCIOUSNESS CHANGE YOUR FREQUENCY TO END THE ITCH NO GREATER MEDICINE CAN BE HAD AT ANY PRICE AND ITS FREE FROM THE SUPREME CREATORS -------------------------------------- THE PREREQUISITE SEX MODE FUNCTION -------------------------------------- Perhaps you've observed TV ain't real no more less the characters either male male female male female female get together with forking tongues and lip clamps sooner or later at least once in every episode that leads to a peak before the station break It doesn't matter who the lip clampers are any pair any gender young young old old young old any kind of character good good good bad bad bad and at least several different moments of lip clamping action per scene of docudrama melodrama seriesdrama soapdrama specialdrama and family entertainment What a list its supposed to mean that creativity is being expanded in this age of modernism apparently You've all seen the same scene ad nauseam he she or twiddlesex suddenly hoving toward each other their mouths agape their faces clash a real mash lips abulge in that oft seen manner tongues finding the glistening holes like magnets and saliva bubbles start splacking in noisy vigor Meanwhile the camera draws neigh so we can all see no lie two actors their thighs with legs akimbo in odd stances the camera peering in can see without doubt their groins making contact at the jointpoint of the loins don't forget the eyes depending on the caste are either closed in the closeups or in a rigid stare that makes eyeballs glare like hard marbles You're supposed to know the moods or the reasons the modest haste or swooning goon submission or eyes wide open in the being right there at where its at attitude but there's more in that wide open stare down hard kind of unblinking, a lock on target in the power tripping syndrome of two conceited actors playing mind games with each other Vibrations in the overplus here grumbles give rise to telepathic brain chatter But don't let the money makers hear you say that or they might double the output and skip to the hottest parts without waiting for more aware observers to catch up with the user's groups who fork the profits Perhaps when the PREREQUISITE SEX MODE FUNCTION finally gets drawn into the domains of cartoons the critics will begin to notice and viewers will begin to wonder what has happened to make the worst of human behavior seem the best of all possible universes Real high level humano behavior no actually IN LARGE OVERVIEW SEE YOURSELF ABOVE THE PLANET LOOKING DOWN ON THE WHOLE COAT IN ONE GLANCE WHAT YOU SEE IS APPALLING A WORLD AS IF COATED WITH LOINS NAKED AND ENTWINED AROUND THE CENTERS OF GROINS A SEETHING SURFACE OF WINDING GRINDING GROINS WITHOUT PERSONA BECAUSE THE WRITHE FOR GRATIFICATION WORKING BACK THROUGH THE LOINS TO THE THOUGHT STRUCTURE ITSELF SEEMS TO BE THE CENTRAL MOTIVE IN CONSCIOUSNESS FOR HUMANS AND IRONICALLY IT IS THE VERY THOUGHT ITSELF MORE THAN THE ACTUAL PRACTICE WHICH WILL KEEP THE PLANET LONGER REMOVED FROM RAISING IN FREQUENCY BACK TO WHERE YOU BECOME OPEN LINE LINKED AGAIN WITH THE GALAXY ---------------------------- BEFORE THE AFTERMATH ---------------------------- Quick flash of stopwatch and crotch shot Dr. Stoneman is measuring the critical time the shark has been out of the water They are stapling the tag to its tail and measuring the length of its penis oops no its fin Band-aid bikini standing by is holding a notepad high above the shotangle Now everything is ready they HAVE the measurements and the measurements HAVE been recorded quick flash of crotchshot and stopwatch and the thin bikini there is just seconds left they skid the fish to the kid of the boat and shove it over the edge the dinky shark goes swimming with a flick of the tail away gone The winding music reaches screeching crescendo, kettle drums thunder the success The dramatic event in the history of research is over a single little shark has been tagged Another Stoneman history carving epic is in the can another half hour for the network another ten minutes of shark on deck the stopwatch and focus on crotch and notepad in the hand of young band-aid bikini and you've been wondering what is happening these days with science and the education of the masses why why its gone Commercial ---------------------------------- CREDIT DUE WHERE CREDIT IS DUE ---------------------------------- OR PUTTING IT BLUNTLY PRESERVATION OF THE SPECIES (Up front and afflicted with officialdom - thick horn rimmed glasses honor a parka - a giant telescope crests the peak of a mountain in the background. Gusty winds blowtorch the hair in jerks) .... Yes, I, Vladamier Sabastianstien, have the privilege of announcing the discovery of the new comet in question. It is definitely a rogue comet, ahumph, never before observed, moving couph, into the inner region of the solar system from the direction of, ahrumph, Saggitarious and is momentarily approaching roughly 32.86 degrees upper zenith declension from the Trojans of Jupiter. It was first, cough, observed roughly day before yesterday and we preliminarily expect it to be arriving in the vacinity of the sun by about, ahumph, ahumph, early summer at the latest. We, ahumph, are expecting ..... the slow steady voice has inexorably drawled slower through the pauses as the bogus importance gets harder and harder to maintain ..... (Abrupt cut. Low bottom pitched announcer high speed delivery flawless reads importantly from pre-written script ..... ) 'The Trojans are clusters of asteroids which follow before and after Jupiter's regular 11 year orbit around the sun. Meanwhile, Dr. Morris Whoo Abooman, head of astronomy physics at Petoria University has this to say about the incredible new comet, which has just been discovered by Percy Mercy, an astronomy enthusiast .... ' (A new image.... Thin hair raggy. His look is everywhere. That picture of Saint Einstein is on the wall. Windows overlook the campus. Busy students scamper between tall cracks tween buildings. Mysterious shadows come and go where TV lights splash in the corners of the office. A bicycle leans padlocked by the door. A pipe leans smoking in curls in an ashtray. Something almost yuppie-like in the absence of the grin, the poised Dr. Abooman is sparking off just left of the eyepiece of the camera) .... came as a considerable surprise. Our own department's Ishak Imhere, an exchange student from Televiv enrolled in our advanced undergraduate honors math and physics program here, with career in astronomy, had been co-incidentally taking photographs of the trailing Trojan region through the GIANT EYE astronomical telescope's corrected optimizer apparatus, including just the other night .... that would be day before yesterday .... he did not momentarily recognize the comet's significance or its full identity in the area of such .... haze .... due to the extremely difficult nature of such OBSERVATIONS! .... (Pause to adjust some important looking papers on desk) .... however we were able to .... overcome certain difficulties to correct that. The latest photographs taken by Ishak Imhere confirm the comet's existence and, er, um, fruits of such dedicated labor. The GIANT EYE viewing device and telescoping equipment at our Hawaii Island installation is .... I might add .... the world's most advanced state of the art inter optical stellar viewing apparatus based on land. I might take a moment to add to that remark that .... without the renowned discoveries of, in my opinion, the greatest physicist who ever LIVED, Professor Albert Einstein, we might never have .... (Abrupt blew edit cut here, because the mouth keeps working round a fixed grin but no words are heard, and the eyelids are opening and closing over one eyeball in off balanced nictictation. And there is no new picture, except for a flashing ghostly close-up of Saint Einstein's photo flashing by .... ) WHAT HAS NOT (IS NOT) BEING SAID IS THE FOLLOWING Percy Mercy is an maverick undergraduate student enrolled at Petoria University in honors math physics in the astronomy program, scoring top marks. Percy Mercy is black, from Alabama, attending university because of a football scholarship. Percy Mercy has to spend nights on the roof of a rural tenement house with a hand built telescope observing for course credits. Mercy's announcement (given first to the press) was of a rogue comet, never before seen, diving in at 32.8 degrees in a roughly northeast zenith declension from the upper rear Trojan asteroid cluster of Jupiter, in an area of haze which actually made it very EASY to distinguish it from the surrounding cloud of small asteroids and haze. The photographs taken during two nights with the home made telescope were impeccably clear, painstakingly made. They showed without question a comet and not another asteroid. Etc. Etc. Meanwhile a publisher named Ruben Heidinmyer has already contacted Ishak Imhere about a paper on the comet's discovery. And a popular science magazine edited by Sally T. Ritonbottom is going to do an article profiling Imhere's intense personal role in the gripping drama, plus Bud Fierstein's subarticle on the GIANT EYE telescope itself, its purpose, ability, future growth potentials, new federal funding, and so on. (Meanwhile Percy Mercy is out on the field grunting against stuffed dummys to keep his scholarship open.) =============================== QUESTIONABLE RELIGIONS =============================== I'm here telling you more born again christian drivel in a low normal conversational tone of voice WILL YOU LISTEN of course not I become a touched by god ranting yahoo and NOW get your attention like all ranting yahoos who claim to be the voice of 'JUH-E-A-ZUZ' and pass personal messages direct from god to you you think the ranting yahoo you favor best is the one who taps the lord right on the cock and says hi I've got a personal message for you from (insert name here along with money) and OF COURSE I've got to do it on radio and TV otherwise how else can I tell you where to sit for your weekly sunday function letting me do it all for you isn't that a sin if you miss my silly grin and fail to have an afterlife cause of it p.s. about that publicity the devil made me do it fortunately we caught 'em in time before I lost my ministry isn't that a blessing isn't that a kloon thank you 'juh-e-zuz' thank you thank you tears squirt from weepy eye ducts splash on the TV lens 'oh what a miracle the lord is makin' today helpin wash away the sin' says the loony goon grinning slyly sideways through the teary bleary face cause they KNOW the money meter has just started to jangle in a glory of praise cause of the ranting yahoo's brand new just revised doctrine sex confessions pay at the box office and everyone tuned in was wondering what in hell the sin was all about and the publicity and now they know and like it. A year passes and the same new doctrine - sin confession and explaining the sparse audience - its still the topic of the whole approach and some may pause to wonder just what in hell this religion business is all about how in hell can a ranting yahoo with hotpants be contact point zero for the creator of a universe how can any of these ranting yahoos be anything more than the source of WRONG nothing more than meaningless noise adulterated by CONCEIT a simple source of roaring raw DECEIT -------------------------------------------------------- BLOW BY BLOW LIVE (from the world championships) -------------------------------------------------------- .... if you've just tuned in you'll notice what appears to be a lull in the final match for this dull world championship and this is true the game has been temporarily put on hold till the movers arrive to replace the table the judges are once again (as you can see) examining the hole where the champion shoved the cue under the playing area, here, now, you can just see the butt sticking up about an inch and a half and the tip poked tight in the corner pocket meanwhile, the defending champion is still adamant vigorously arguing there is no penalty and it should not be called a fault because it was not the champeen's fault that the fatperson farted just before the champion stroked and the gas had enough nerve to, er, swerve the choking er, ah, stroking champion ahem, ahem, oh, attention, everyone, here come the movers it is really exciting here at snooker headquarters the movers are positioning themselves around the table as you can see, getting ready to lift the table and carry it away and, yes, they are straining now it is obviously a very heavy table ..... ------------------------------------ CONTRAST WITH MORE OF THE NOISE ------------------------------------ (This is rickety TV rabbit ears reception and stuff channels today have something the same - spectaculars) ".... and, yes, Cathy has just thrown the next rock, and it looks like its going to be YESSS its going to be a HANGER, Cathy's just curled a HANGER, and now (camera to other sports caster) well, this IS very interesting, Jim, why do you think Cathy threw a hanger at such a critical moment in time in the thrills here today .... "Well, Al, I'm not sure. (The other sportscaster is speaking very slow and fast at the same time). A hanger isn't what you'd normally expect at such a critical moment only one rock from the turnaround, and maybe the reason is Cathy wanted to get a critical rock in place so the next throw will have to come round the target to bang the hanger and .... (And so on. Curlers dwawdle both end zones. One swings a stone in slow arcs stooped in fake importance getting ready. Others continue practicing how to broom. .... The first sports announcer is back on camera saying) .... "you see, a hanger isn't a really valuable curling technique, actually most curlers try to avoid it at all cost. The fact that Cathy threw the hanger here just at this critical moment in time is perhaps a significant decision for this plucky young skip at this critical point in the bonspiel, a cunning use of the hanger, seems to have done the job, perhaps to change the course of this whole bonspiel and, possibly, the cup itself .... (Over to the other sports caster who is busy adjusting the little stickup mike getting ready to resume the color and chatter of this gripping Saturday Afternoon Sports Spectacular Special presentation sponsored by Fosters and Coors and Miller Light and Molson's Lucky Ice Lager plus Chevy power pickups with more on the floor overdrive and mags made to look like cadillacs, and the four wheel powerdrive rear option for a new low low price). And all this time I keep standing here quietly buttering bread and opening a can of tuna and trying to rinse a piece of fresh lettuce and thinking the reason that Cathy threw the hanger is that her foot accidentally slipped a fraction of an inch the instant the rock left her hand. And wonder why the city tap water turns brown when it boils. An hour later the "Sports TRI-ATHELON" continues: And now earth listeners the coach of the visiting team has just stepped into the box. Well, do you think your chances are good today? (typical stadium cheering) (voice over) ... ".... yesss, we're gonna play hard an fast an we know this'll be the winning combination for today's game ..." We can see the logic in this kind of thinking and see that the ideas extend outward then curl back and cinch up tight like a clockspring winds till it jambs Emotional attitudes committed to preconceived beliefs and systems become nonsense willed at the point where the curled back logic chrystalizes Such curlback is seen through a forward look where the free will extends and extends as far as is necessary to see the answer clearly or at least to come to know the answer is already there in Reality. ------------------------ ------------------------ TARGET YOUR MARKET and MARKET YOUR TARGET ------------------------ ------------------------ I'm 45 years old and look 30 (actually cause I'm a 25 year old model who looks old for her age) which is why I'm a model working as an ordinary person who has come to tell you about wonder new beauty mud by PLAST. My friend is 65 and people are asking if she's had a face lift. It'll Work miracles for you too. As one woman to another wonder new beauty mud by PLAST is worth it. And to prove how true that is when I told my best friend Mary she ran straight to the store and got her own, so we can PLAST together. (Rapid disco jazz-like background music cuts in fast after her legs stop moving on a crotch shot), just before the picture cuts to a brand new 4-door coupe hurtling up a gradual curve at the incredible speed of 55 kilometers per hour, proving its super high performance rally class workmanship, in next year's driving today, its driver the target a large 26 year old secretary wearing high heeled shoes and horn rimmed glasses. Swinging into closeup secretarial type turns into the camera actually, beyond the camera to a hunky funky super junky studder riding an all black gleamer of a motorcycle with sexy motor chrome and manifolds and jean seams tight right up the rear region who asses up alongside signalling her with a high sign and a funny fixed grin, just as the screen cuts to the sawed off tail stub of a dog wagging fast for more meaty dog food... This interlude is taking place 3 minutes after the last interlude break in the movie. Something funny is going on amongst the brain cells of viewers. Traces of intelligence are being erased from central areas. This year and next the viewers think the feeling of the loss is entertainment. And pay cablevision money to continue the feeling. Interesting what people will do for money or to try to establish their gene line as superior in whatever way it takes to do it. Interesting what people will do even injure or kill innocents for a gambling debt or drugs or hangup over a sex partner. What is the feeling in such thinking. Why are a few dollars more important than anything else such people can think of. Go ahead think about the answer. "BUT, BUT, THAT'S NOT WHAT T.V'S LIKE. YOU GOT IT WRONG TELEVISIONS' NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL IT'S IT'S WORSE!" ===================================== THE ABSURDITY OF BEING ABSURD ===================================== And now listen here, the joyful noise of a baritone singing opera in falsetto believe me this to be true it is a big christmas eve special advertised as that which you most WON'T want to miss the most coming from Vancouver and the noise the noise that singer has made it couldn't possibly have come from christmas. and still the idiot got paid for it. But that's only part of the story. Would you believe the real story of how the CARE BARES and RUDOLF THE RED NOSED REINDEER go to the north pole to help SANTA find the stolen JINGLE BELL SLEIGH. And its still christmas eve and on it goes a bald fat faggy middle aged thing of a Peter Pan with definate lip curls hanging in the upper corners of the wet ones swings into center stage from the rafters and swooping before little Cinderella, rasps: I swing both ways. Wink! wink! This is true I saw it with my own eyes at 8:30 PM on my own TV in the livingroom not on a funded no-ad channel, this was on the city's top dog commercial television station and the network it sticks to. And now I can imagine a harp being played by a pair of wings stuck to the harp to play it by an angel who poses as a priest in the next scene whose body throbs hard to the tacky rhythms as the audience snaps their fingers vigorously on the on beat. Such is what the DOUBLE BLINK SYNDROME is doing for MY imagination. --------------------------- WHERE DOES IT START --------------------------- (spinny skinny lady youngish-oldish, slashes of rouge and hard lipstick highlight the lesser effects) ..... and now children its time to play mommys you all know how to play mommys (not a question but a statement of fact) all right children lets start with putting on lipstick see! put ting on lip stick! isn't this FUN! (there is a strange birdlike voice) coming out of the crazy twisted face) and now lets walk on high heels yes that's how you do it yes that's right you boys can do it too yes isn't this FUN! (the little achievers are walking in a circle in a funny way trying to have FUN! and the lady is walking around too saying Clomp! Clomp! Clomp! Clomp! and now let's have a visit from WILLY! our friendly giant from the hill yes everybody say hello to WILLY he's going to sing a song just for you aren't you WILLY ... (not a question but a statement of fact (WILLY has a reason to grin in such a fake way. A ridiculous red wig that actually looks like a rug sits perched on top of the bald dome of this stocky overweight middle aged thing of an example (WILLY picks up the guitar and begins to play. WILLY can't sing a note and is musically even worse. To make up for it WILLY plays the guitar like no one ever played it before. WILLY plays the guitar so hard that every so often bits of flesh fly from his fingertips. The rasping dismal noise is supposed to be real pleasure for the kindergarten kids but the only one getting pleasure from THIS is WILLY (The spinny skinny lady now gets all the children to nerd in a circle again so they can play throw the ball. Most can't throw the big ball. Some can't even hold it. The one's who can't look obviously left out. The one's who can get stroked with rewards like .... that's great! .... that's wonderful! see how easy it is .... just like putting on lipstick like your mommy .... yes you can do it too boys .... .... at the mention of lipstick the kids had stopped throwing the ball and started putting on lipstick again, let's pretending) So this goes on everyday every station children's kindergarten of the air the best experience YOUR child ever had just ask anyone behind the show but definitely DO NOT ASK YOURSELVES (you think) you might be in for a big surprise or even more to the core of the problem you might be in for an AWAKENING ---------------------- THE MEGABUCKS ---------------------- Oops. "You've been caught crossing the street 'tween traffic lights and that's a no no in these here parts'. The two cops both tough and lookin' good hands beholden on their open holsters as they call for backup. Up comes the other squad car scudding good some time after to this far corner of the city limits cause its late night and as the car with the two new coppers escort the thug downtown to the slammer the poor sap is thinking Yikes! YIKES! this is a long weekend its only 11:50 PM on Friday, Monday a holiday no courts till Tuesday morning and all I did was short cut across the middle of a deserted street to outrun the cold wind chill factor in a blizzard to a bus station and just my bad luck the car at the intersection had constables. And so you see in detail another facet of society that which thinks waste and ridiculousness and hoped for unexpected big score is the world's highest calling. For not only are you incarcerated for four days at who knows who's (the taxpayer's) expense the expense is not just a few dollars for food and the toilet paper it is in the thousands the courts the clerks the gunmen standing by in the corridors making sure you don't eat the bars and gettaway. Not to mention the paperwork. But let's not stop here. There is smoke down there in the computer room. We have your face and name and by golly we gotta check fer fingerprints out goes the clammer on the wire is that face familiar to any law enforcement agency anywhere in the country, the continent how about Interpol gotta check that out too as the call goes out round the world to investigate the poor middle aged turkey in the holding cell for the weekend's got a name let's see any prior sentences no any warrants yes a warrant for the same name (but different spelling) finally comes back on the terminal display after an all night vigil checking sources all around the world gotta resume' the name's activities for at least several years back the other name is not a killer or looney its a dope dealer on the lam from bail can anything be learned about OUR sucker is it the one, the same, the only, big score hanging by decisions by the wire, can't miss a thing on this! things are really revving, even thrills and excitement meybe a big career score here for the promotions what activities might link the truth to the bad guy. Prosecution papers are prepared just in case and officers of the peace get out there in the streets to sleuth around hoping for evidence and all this goes on till court time Tuesday morning oops too bad yer innocent there's not gonna be no party time for us only thing you did to make you a bad apple was cross the empty street against the traffic light at midnight. Twenty dollar fine and time served. We don't want to see you here again no sirree not us and don't break the law again or things will go far worse second time around. Now think of the money how many mega bucks did all this cost the chief accountants for the taxpayers while you holidayed in the holding cell while the cops did what they enjoy doing most a cop's job thoroughly investigate a whim to the n'th degree diggin' in investigating with reward the motive. YOU SEE THE PROBLEM ALL OF THIS LOOKING WAS EXTERNAL NONE OF IT IS LOOKING WITHIN TO SEE CLEARLY HOW TO KNOW THAT YOU WERE INNOCENT IN THE FIRST PLACE. ----------- ENOUGH ----------- HERE IS A STORY ABOUT SOME OF THE CONDTIONS CURRENTLY PREVAILING ON THE EARTH. The voice on the tape I've just made, having walked around the small room talking, is distant, as if coming through an echo chamber, and is too wobbly at times. This is the problem with cheap walkman's, you never know what the recording quality might be. I let the last part of the tape play again, wondering if it is good enough to pass on to the contact at the famous Astronomical Society. Through the window of the cabin I can see the pair of loons about a hundred meters from shore. They are conversing with another pair about 2 kilometers distant at the other end of the lake. The sound rappore between the two families of loons is nice in the evening to listen to. The sunset reflecting off the clouds and water has turned the world color, hitting the high point of incredible, the mauve and magentas, orange and yellow colors are very stirring in a most peaceful way. Too bad the colors are due to high stratosphere dust from a volcano. The dog sleeps with a paw across a bone. The chipmunk is back in the cabin stuffing its pouches using tiny paws like hands with nuts and granola from the little pile spread between my feet. Away the little friend goes out the door to stash the booty under the cabin. My attention comes back to the Greatstarr tapes: " ... the following new pages on gravitational relativity should be of extreme interest to astrophysicists, as well as cosmologists, and supergravityists, plus everyday people of the Earth public of course. "Astrologers too, for that matter. Such newsy solar and cosmological information as to be imminently shown fairly EXUDES whiffs of an inner influence in what might be felt, living in gravity and magnetism, including the powerful magnetic vortexes known as cities, each with their own distinct personality. And the sense of inner heard sound - the hiss some people call the audible sound current - and a few call inductions; the hiss who others in dismay make trips to the doctor over: "Doc, Doc, you gotta tell me I'm not crazy tell me my ears ain't goin bad Doc, but I swear I hear a high pitched hiss like a pissing inside my head sometimes, and sometimes ringing in my ears, especially the right one. Got any aspirins for THIS Doc? "The doc, being into the future in the present from more mundane matters smiles in a kind way but the patient doesn't know why. The patient thinks the doc might think them crazy, and the doc knows the patient is too crazy to understand the explanation for the hiss and the ringing. Yes any comments about Cosmic Inductions and the like might scare the patient off to a quack who only practices orthodox medicine. "The doctor is saying; 'Beer parlors, I think, do a good business over such dilemmas. But actually, in the real world, the hiss or piss can be high enough in frequency and power to be felt rather than heard. "This is not to say you are home free. Some wild stuff can come in on certain frequencies of that sound; stuff you can't use, don't need, and definately don't want. The thing is not to get psychologically disturbed about the stuff, because many people do. "The doc hopes the patient has got an understanding, now, or, at least, a better grasp of these everyday circumstances. And yes, prescribes a bottle of aspirin for the headaches that sometimes accompanies the hiss. "Oh, something else you should know before ever going back to the beer parlor. The body in quick slight jerks, localized jolts, and twitches in muscles, tugs you cannot do alone in your systems that not even yogi's in India can do in their prime or aspire to, these can be caused by exploding thought balloons as you rest there drifting quietly just before dipping into sleep. "The doc is pleased with the way the patient seems to be responding, knowing that, intuiting that, cadance and rhythms are part of the powerful new inductions coming in to uplift and purify the planet". It is unfortunate. The voice on the tape is simply too garbled to be useably worthwhile, and I am going to have to forego the opportunity tomorrow morning, to pass on a request for 'something I can put on tape for some members of a wellwisher's society'. The society will have to wait, er, if they are in fact waiting. I somehow doubt it. More like polite stalling is what my contact says is the case. I remove the cassette, casually pitch it into an open cardboard carton sticking out from under the bed. I think of casually pitching the walkman into the garbage can, then decide to hang onto it. Who knows, maybe someday I'll really need it for something important, as cheap as it is it's the only one I've got and who knows when I can afford something better, in THIS day and age on THIS planet. --------------------------- SELF EVIDENT TRUTH --------------------------- ALL MINDS MUST INSTANTLY AGREE THAT SUCH A TRUTH IS SELF EVIDENT AND NO OTHER INTERPRETATIONS ARE POSSIBLE SEE, THE EMBLEMS OF SCIENCE WERE MADE AT A TIME WHEN THERE WAS NO WORLD LANGUAGE ANYWHERE TO DISCUSS PRINCIPLES THAT ARE KNOWN EVERYWHERE IN THE ABSOLUTE REALITY KNOWN AS CREATION. OHM-EEN AUM-EEN EVERYONE IN THE WORLD CAN BENEFIT BY HEARING OR THINKING THE SOUNDS OHM-EEN AUM-EEN THINK OF THE SOUNDS AT ALL FREQUENCIES EVEN THOSE THAT ARE SO HIGH PITCHED THEY ARE SENSED AND CANNOT BE HEARD SO HIGH ARE THE CYCLES OHM-EEN AUM-EEN OHM-EEN AUM-EEN -- Continued in POEMS4.TXT